I realized that I haven't written on this blog for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely had thoughts in the past couple of years regarding politics, but life gets in the way. But I've had some thoughts on my mind lately that I can't seem to shake. So I thought if I got them down here, maybe that would help.
I've been thinking a lot about the 'American Dream'. You know what it is. You know what your dream is. It's different for every person, but similar for everyone. The American Dream is you work hard, you become successful. You have a job, a family, a house. It's what we're taught growing up. Work hard, be successful.
Well lately, I feel like there is no such thing as the American Dream. It doesn't exist. Maybe it did at one time, but not anymore. See, all my life, I thought all I had to do was work hard, go to school, get a degree, get a job and I'll be set. Even throughout college when I started to get glimpses of "real life", I was still confident.
But now I'm out in the real world. I've been here for five plus years, which I realize isn't a huge amount of time. But in those five years, I feel like the American Dream that I once pictured is not attainable.
To start, my husband and I have both have a variety of jobs in the past few years. This has been due to moving or new opportunities. I think we're both still struggling to find that perfect job for us. But we have been fortunate to find work, even if it hasn't always been doing what we went to school for or what we want to be doing with our lives. We've also been fortunate that these have been above minimum wage jobs. However, due to the varying circumstances, we haven't been able to stay at a job long enough to really feel the benefits of long term employment, i.e. significant raises. But again, this is on us as we chose to move or try our hand at something new.
We can also speak to the fact of the different types of employers there are. Public versus private. Corporation versus small business. There are a lot of differences. And there are certainly pros and cons to both. Is any one better than another? That all depends. One thing is for sure, there is no one set way to run a business. I suppose I could go on here about the differences of maternity and parental benefits as well, but that's probably best left for another post... :)
One of the biggest aspects of the American Dream is owning your own home. This is a big one. And when I think about owning my own home, I wonder if it's possible. I wonder how other people my age (okay, not so much anymore as I did five years ago) can own a home. One of problems for us personally is again the moving. We haven't found that right place to settle down and call home. And I don't want to start the process of buying a home to just have to turn around and sell it in a year or two. So we rent. We've rented a lot of different places - big, small; nice, not so nice. But a home is the dream. But is it possible? And the reason I question this so much is due to my next point.
Debt. My husband and I are both under 30 years old. And we have so much debt. I will own up to the fact that some of it is due to young stupidity when we first graduated from college. But most of it is student loan debt.
I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Well you chose to go to a private school, you should have known what you were getting into". And maybe there is some truth to that. But when I was picking colleges, I was only thinking about the next four years and what that experience would be. We were told that you needed a college degree to get a good job and that there were plenty waiting. Well I gradated college 2008, right during the financial crisis. There weren't as many jobs. It was a different world then when I started four years earlier. No one goes to college and thinks, "hm, I think I'll rack up a bunch of debt, should be fun". And you know, I take responsibility for that debt. It was my choice to go to a private school and I will be the one to pay back those loans.
But, there is a huge problem with student loans. There is very little help, very little assistance in repaying student loans. If you are fortunate enough to have federal loans, you're going to be a little better off. But you're only allowed so much in federal loans before you have to go private. And when you private, you get screwed over.
So as I've already mentioned, we've moved around a lot and had a variety of jobs. Our incomes have also varied because of these, along with some other circumstances. We've tried to do the right thing and continue to make payments on our loans so we call for assistance. As a reminder, most of our student loans are private and not federal. Our best option was to go on the graduate level repayment, which basically means we're still paying on the interest of the loan but that's it. And because of that, the total of the loan is actually increasing!
How is it that when we're trying to be responsible and still pay on the loan, but can't afford the regular monthly payment, we're being punished? Why can't there be a repayment option that helps pay towards the loan itself while being affordable according to our income? I'm not even asking for loan forgiveness. I realize these are our loans and our responsibility. But I would like there to be some regulation in place not to punish loan holders when trying to pay back loans! Help us make payments affordable that actually go to help pay off the loan and not the ridiculous amount of interest. Right now, our student loan debt is about a third of our income.
Could we be doing more ourselves? Could we be working second jobs? Cutting coupons or eating out less? Cutting costs across the board so we can throw some more pennies towards our loans? Maybe. But I don't believe the American Dream was about pinching pennies to make things work. Why can't both of us work one full time job and be able to make affordable payments towards our debt?
Believe me, I've considered a second job though. Many times. But with a husband that already works 40+ hours that vary each week, it would be hard for him to have a second job. And that leaves me at home with our son. And if I got a second job, someone would need to watch him and then I'd have to wonder if the income from that second job would just go towards paying the babysitter. And sure, there are a lot of those work from home businesses selling different things, but I think I would have a hard time asking my friends for money to buy things when I know a lot of them are in the same situation we're in.
So when I think about my American Dream right now, I think about owning a home and being debt free by the time we retire. And that's not right. That's not the American Dream I was taught about as a kid.
And before I post this, I realize that some people will probably see this as a big entitlement post. And that's not what I'm saying. I'm not asking for my debt to disappear or be forgiven. I'm asking that repayment, especially in private loans, not be so difficult. That there's some relief in how student loans are treated. Is that really so hard?
